Options for Paying Off the National Debt

We're in debt, broke, and running out of options.

We're broke and heavily indebted to the Peoples Republic of China. Due to the greed that our society enshrined as the pinnacle of American values, our jobs have been outsourced and are no longer ours. Lazy parasitic financial executives have purchased the deed to our future earnings for generations to come, we are losing our homes, and what production we have left is being liquidated in the form of spent munitions to the profit of our war contractors. It is time to think outside of the box. Conventional means will not solve our problem. We need to take desperate measures to solve our desperate situation. Sacrifices will need to be made. As best I see it, here are our options:

1. We could cede California to China in exchange for our debt. China is overpopulated and needs Lebensraum. California is ours through theft. What cheaper way to solve our problem than to pay off our debtor with stolen land? As they say, nothing ventured/nothing gained. Keeping California is a losing proposition. California is no longer able to support itself. It will only drag us down to lower depths should we hold onto that piece of real estate. With the fires, the mud-slides, the earthquakes, and Hollywood, losing California would be a blessing. China just might go for this solution. Naturally, we'd have to prepare to defend ourselves against Chinese expansionism (just ask the Tibetans, Uygars, Mongolians, Vietnamese, Manchurians, etc), but then again, perhaps it is only just that we experience this threat after more than two hundred years of our own expansionist policies.

2. If we do not cede California, then we will be confronted with more difficult choices. Since we cannot repay our debt to China with money (we don't have any), we need to put ourselves in the shoes of the Chinese and ask ourselves, what do we have that China needs? Well, China needs women. The generally misogynistic view of the Chinese towards female babies has caused a severe shortage of female mates for Chinese men. Yes, this is the fault of the Chinese, not ours, but our debt is the fault of our greedy ruling class, not the Chinese. Now, I do not believe that innocent working class American women should be shipped to China in exchange for our debt, but I do think it might be just to send the women of the ruling class to China. After all, like their husbands, they have been enjoying our wealth, squandering it, and selling our future.

Let's get specific. I suggest we round up all couples with incomes over $500,000.00 per year, annul their marriages, and ship their wives to China in exchange for a portion of our debt to the Chinese. As for the husbands of these women, they should be handed over as slaves to the Chinese Regime to work off the remainder of our country's debt to China. This would increase the number of women in China while reducing the number of male and female parasites (in equal number) here in the United States. It's a win, win, win situation.

3. If we are not willing to sacrifice something or someone, then we will need to settle upon refusing to repay our debt. Since we cannot maintain our military might under the scenario of an economic collapse, we can expect war as a consequence of our refusal to repay. If we choose this path, then it is every state for itself. The sooner a state “jumps ship” and secedes from the United States, the less likely it will be that that state is left “holding the bag” when China comes for repayment of its debt. As a New Englander, I think it would be just great for the New England states to lead the way in secession. We could form our own nation (safe as we are on the Atlantic sea board, far from China's easy reach) or join Canada. China would still have a United States to come for and we would get off scott-free. This would be justified as we've always paid more than our share to the U.S. Government.

4. The last option is to overthrow the Government of the United States, end free trade, abolish the practice of outsourcing, and replace our capitalist system with a socialist system. As much as I would favour this option, I do not believe it will ever happen. As a pragmatist, I would say it is not even worth proposing. The great majority of Americans are too brainwashed by their government, the media, and Hollywood to ever consider doing something in their own collective interest. I cannot imagine Southerners or the people of the American west ever supporting such a rebellion. Since options (1) and (2) are unethical and option (4) has no chance of even starting, I propose option (3). The sooner we throw off the shackles of the federal government and go our own way (or join Canada), the better.