Insomniac Horoscopes
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<p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">The future is a dark desolate place, until now.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Aries (march 21-April 19) – Its always good to stay optimistic and expect a few problems on your road to success. Even if those few problems create a dark, horrifying road ahead. </span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Today is the day to organize, whether it be a useful community group or bloody rebellion against our unseen overlords.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Gemini (May21 – June 20) – A new person will come into your life to sweep you off your feet, or come to cut off your feet. Be prepared for anything.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Important information could come your way, like a new skill for your job or the launch codes for a cold war nuclear warhead.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Leo (July 23 – August 22) – An unexpected raise could have you feeling outwardly generous. Give a few dollars to a homeless person, or some food, or some blood, or a kidney. Your generosity knows no bounds. </span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Virgo (August 23 – September 22)- A vacation is needed. Do not worry about planning or location, simply jump the first freight train you can manage and be on your merry way to adventure. </span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Hold the door for your date. Tear the door off the hinges and fight off potential suitors. Establish dominance. </span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Free will is a myth</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) – The destruction of humanity is enevitable, consider a career as a goldfish.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)- Happiness is a myth, look into the abyss and except that.</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)- Time is temporary, life is meaningless, invest in Goldbond Foot Powder</span></span></span></p> <p><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: small;">Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – Love is just chemicals that make you irrational. Skip the middleman and take MDMA.</span></span></span></p>
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<p>The future is a dark desolate place, until now.</p> <p>Aries (march 21-April 19) – Its always good to stay optimistic and expect a few problems on your road to success. Even if those few problems create a dark, horrifying road ahead. </p> <p>Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Today is the day to organize, whether it be a useful community group or bloody rebellion against our unseen overlords.</p> <p>Gemini (May21 – June 20) – A new person will come into your life to sweep you off your feet, or come to cut off your feet. Be prepared for anything.</p> <p>Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Important information could come your way, like a new skill for your job or the launch codes for a cold war nuclear warhead.</p> <p>Leo (July 23 – August 22) – An unexpected raise could have you feeling outwardly generous. Give a few dollars to a homeless person, or some food, or some blood, or a kidney. Your generosity knows no bounds. </p> <p>Virgo (August 23 – September 22)- A vacation is needed. Do not worry about planning or location, simply jump the first freight train you can manage and be on your merry way to adventure. </p> <p>Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Hold the door for your date. Tear the door off the hinges and fight off potential suitors. Establish dominance. </p> <p>Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Free will is a myth</p> <p>Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) – The destruction of humanity is enevitable, consider a career as a goldfish.</p> <p>Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)- Happiness is a myth, look into the abyss and except that.</p> <p>Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)- Time is temporary, life is meaningless, invest in Goldbond Foot Powder</p> <p>Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – Love is just chemicals that make you irrational. Skip the middleman and take MDMA.</p>
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